An elegant touch

Once in a while, there comes into your life someone special. Someone who occupies your thoughts throughout the day, someone who visits in your dreams to make you awaken with a lazy, satisfied smile on your face. Once in a while, someone special changes you. They change your outlook on life, they change your priorities, they change the way you feel. Recently, someone came into my life that had such a profound effect on me that it blew my mind. Oh yes, my mind was blown. Since that first contact was made online, and even more so since that incredible first meeting when we were able to touch, my mind has been blown again and again. He’s tall, well-built, sleek and sexy. Firm, strong, a pleasure to hold. He is so large, and yet so elegant. He makes me smile, makes me sigh, makes me moan and scream. He is phenomenal, and I have fallen head over heels for him.

His name is Elegance, and he is my new favourite vibrator.

For a long while, my dear friend Woman has been ranting and raving at me about Fun Factory’s vibrators. I had been looking at them off and on and trying to choose one to try, but money was tight, and time even tighter, and the purchase of one of these miracle toys would have to wait. So when finally I had the money and the time to do some serious, in-depth online shopping, I headed over to Eden Fantasys and immersed myself in the Fun Factory collection. There was one that I was attracted to immediately. I couldn’t figure out exactly why it struck me so, but there was something about it that when I first saw that little thumb nail image made me want to click on it.

A happy sigh escaped my lips as I gazed upon the newly loaded page. Front and centre was a large display of the toy whose details I had chosen to peruse. Up close he was even more enticing. I could see those edges and sleek, sexy curves. The deliciously pointed tip, and the round robust length of his shaft. I was practically salivating over my keyboard. Now, never let me be accused of not doing my due diligence. I tore myself away from the object of my lust, and together with JV, I investigated other options carefully. We compared pros and cons, discussed reviews, got completely shallow and rated the prettiness of each toy. In the end, we came back to that first toy. My dear, sweet, elegance. There are times in your life, it seems, that when you fall in love with something … or someone … at first sight, that it really is the beginning of something wonderful. I think my lovely JV would agree.

So, I bought it, with no small amount of glee. And then I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. It felt like an eternity, but in reality is was only a couple of weeks, plus a few extra days after some technical difficulties. (Damned mother fucking dodgy international adapter socket thingamejig.)

That was a couple of months ago now. Life has been busy- there’s been work, study, drama, health issues, and a wedding. Through it all, Elegance has been faithfully at my side, willing to relieve tension and bring copious amounts of pleasure. He’s a special one.

Elegance is by far the largest addition to my toy box, fulfilling my months long search for something more … fulfilling. Ha! I made myself chuckle. I’d been looking at larger toys for ages, but many of the bigger toys are those ‘realistic’ designed dildos. That is, they’re moulded in the shape of an extremely large (and usually supremely veiny) penis. And the thing is … I don’t like them. In fact, I cannot stand them. I think they’re awful to look at- tacky and frozen. Like Nicole Kidman’s face after botox- it basically looks like it’s supposed to, but there’s just something wrong with it that makes me wrinkle my nose and turn away.

Elegance is by no means a ‘monster cock’ toy, but he is of significant size for me. Every woman is different of course, but suffice to say, I’m a small person, and Elegance is almost too big for me. In total he measures over 8 inches long, with about 6 of those inches insertable. I know, this is not a remarkable length. Where Elegance really shines is in his wonderful, delicious, fulfilling girth. At his widest he measures over 5 inches in circumference, and almost 2 inches in diameter. As I first drew him from his packaging and held him in my hands, I was absolutely delighted. He felt heavy, smooth, firm yet flexible, and I lovingly stroked him up and down, revelling in his length and the fact that I could only just close my fist around him. I traced his tapered tip with my fingers, circled my touch down and around the shaft, and it occurred to me why I was just so drawn to his particular shape – the similarity between Elegance and a certain important man in my life is absolutely wonderful.

I had been so looking forward to my first play with Elegance, so when the time finally came around, I was jittery with anticipation. When finally he had finished charging completely, we leapt straight into bed together and got down to business. Immediately switching him on, I rested his slightly pointed tip against my bare breast and sighed happily. Even on this basic setting, his vibrations were wonderfully deep, gentle as they may be. Slowly I dragged him over and down my body; teasing my nipples to hardness, stroking that sensitive place on my lower tummy, tickling my inner thighs. Greed got the better of me, as it always does, and I spread my legs wide to slip the toy between them and rub it lightly over my wet slit.

Slowly I slid the tip up and down my pussy, and I found myself biting my lip. The vibrations were really, really something. With each pass I pressed more firmly, until the toy parted my outer lips and slipped in between. I angled it until it was settled against my entrance, letting out a moan, the sensation so pleasurable. I changed my grip and hit the button to up the strength of the vibes, and moaned louder as my pussy clenched eagerly in response, wanting to be filled. I ramped up the power and writhed on the bed as it drove me wild without my having to do anything at all beside hold it in place. I was heading toward orgasm without ever having touched my clit or slid the toy inside me, but the more aroused I got, the harder my clit throbbed, demanding attention, until I couldn’t help but move the toy up. I positioned it between my thighs, laying the length over my pussy, the tip over my clit. My button pulsed, tingled, and the pleasure I was feeling rocketed. My thighs clamped together, holding Elegance firmly in place, and I ground my hips to increase the sensations. My hands completely free moved up my body to cup my breasts. I pinched, tugged, pulled and twisted my aching nipples, dragged my nails over my flesh as all of a sudden I was hanging on the edge of orgasm.

And then I did something that was totally out of character for me … I denied myself that orgasm. Somewhere in the dim dark recesses of my pleasure clouded mind, I’d had an idea, and it had pushed, ducked, weaved and bobbed its way through the clouds until it popped up light a brightly lit light bulb at the forefront of my mind. And so, before I really knew what I was thinking, my thighs parted and I let the toy drop away, almost immediately skittering away from the edge of orgasm. I lay panting, heart racing, my body grappling with the sudden lack of stimulation and my mind grappling with the incredible greedy idea that was doing a jig in my frontal lobe.

I was determined to ride every vibration pattern to a new orgasm, without overworking my clit. I wanted the vibe to do all the work.

Reaching for the toy, I shifted my position on my pillows. Gripping the handle firmly, I rubbed the pointed tip over my soaked wet lips and let out a sigh as the vibrations rumbled through my sensitive flesh. I angled the toy until it pressed against my entrance, making my hips jumps with pleasure, and ever so slowly eased it inside. I could feel that my inner muscles had tightened in preparation for orgasm a few minutes before, and had not yet relaxed at all. I barely had Elegance a couple of inches inside me and he was stretching me almost painfully. Slowly I worked him back and forth, in and out, coaxing my muscles to relax enough to slide him deeper inside, until finally I could thrust him hard to settle completely inside me. My head was spinning, my pussy muscles quivering around the toy. The vibrations ran deep, much deeper than I expected, and they felt amazing. I changed my grip on the handle and started to work the toy inside me, slow at first so my body could adjust to its size, and then faster … harder … deeper. In moments I was completely lost in the sensations, my hips bucking up to meet the thrust of the toy, my juices trickling down to my arse, the wet sounds filling my ears until the tension began to invade, making my muscles bunch and tighten, my toes curl. The tension coiled within me, until I could hardly move, my body rigid with it, trembling achingly as my hand ground the toy deep inside me, hardly even able to thrust anymore. My hand slipped round, changing grip, and I used my wrist to fuck myself with the toy, fast, hard, but shallow, managing to put a little pressure over my clit. Enough pressure to snap that gorgeous tension, to send me into orgasm, a cry tearing from my throat. My pussy spasmed with pleasure, clamping tightly down on the toy, only serving to make the feelings more intense, make my body buck more violently.

Slowly, eventually, I started to come down from the high, just enough to be able to think a little. I opened my eyes, breathing hard, unable to really see for the blurring of my vision. My shaky fingers fumbled for the button to move to the next vibe pattern, before I came down too far to be able to peak again without a lot of work, and a sweet, rapid pulsing began deep inside me. Almost immediately, I started my way back up again, my body writhing and grinding eagerly for more pleasure. It wasn’t long until I was so close to cumming again, straining against the tightness in my body, the pleasurable sensations making me ache … but I hung there so long, trembling, reaching for it. When finally I caught it, it consumed me, wresting loud moans from my lips, causing my body to shudder uncontrollably, my juices to flow even more.

I didn’t wait to start coming down, this time. My fingers found the button to change functions, the toy moving to a slower, deeper pulse that thrummed deliciously against my sensitive pussy, the muscles clamped so tightly around the toy. I shoved it as far inside me as I could and held it there, letting the vibrations bring me pleasure, and gave in to the desperate need I felt to give my clit some real attention. My fingers skidded over the hot wet flesh of my pussy lips, dragging up to where my clit tingled and pulsed insistently, demanding my touch. I rubbed my fingertips over the button and cried out, my hips bucking hard as sharp pleasure arced through me. I worked it hard and fast, relentless as my hips ground urgently on the bed, greedy for another orgasm. Combined with the sweet vibrations, I tumbled into my third orgasm so fast I could hardly breathe, gasping for breath as my body bowed and shook with pleasure.

I wanted more, another, and I still had one function to go. I was still trembling as I rolled over onto my stomach, slowly drawing my knees up beneath me so that I was kneeling. I dragged a pillow beneath me, shifting about until I was settled exactly as I wanted … straddling the pillow that helped hold the vibe in place so I could ride it. I hit the button to find the last function, letting out a sigh as the vibrations inside me changed once more, to a pattern that started with slow pulses that slowly became faster and faster. I sat still for a few moments, relishing the feeling, my inner muscles still spasming from my previous orgasm. After a while I started to rock my hips, back and forth, in slow circles around, teasing my cunt with new angles and sensations. Gently I lifted myself up and sank back down, groaning softly as the toy stroked my pussy walls sweetly. I did it again, and again, moving slowly as I rode the toy, closing my eyes and imagining him beneath me instead of the ridiculous inanimate pillow. I adjusted my hips, finding a new, better angle, and felt my body buck as my G spot got a nice teasing touch.

Raising my hands, I wrapped my fingertips around the top of the bed head and held tight. My body moved faster and harder, my hips slamming down over the thick vibrator, the tip of it sliding past my spot and making me shudder. My teeth sank into my lower lip, holding back the whimpers that threatened to spill out as I worked my spot relentlessly, greedily, even as my pussy grew sore when I fucked myself harder still. The toy easily filled me, bottoming out ever time I slammed my hips down again, and I loved the sensation, the feeling of the vibes at my core.

I held out as long as I could, resisting the urge to flick my clit and send myself into another orgasm, because what I was doing felt so fucking incredible. But I was weak, my thighs shaking, my head spinning, my breaths coming shorter, harder, more difficult. And I was so greedy, so hungry for that orgasm. I could feel it building, and I knew, I just knew that it was going to wreck me. My hips bucked erratically over the toy, sliding up and down with much effort as my body tightened to the point of aching. My toes curled, the muscles in my thighs bunched and locked until it was all I could do to grind and wriggle desperately with the toy buried inside me. My hands dropped from the bedpost, one gripping my chest tightly, tweaking my nipples violently, as the other slipped down, between my thighs to pinch and twist my clit.

I flew into orgasm, the sensation sweeping over me in torrents that had me convulsing and crying. I felt my inner muscles closing round the toy, spasming with pleasure, the vibrations driving it on and on. My clit pulsed excitedly, tingled beneath my now still fingers. I was dizzy, swaying slightly as I shook, clambering to draw each breath. The pure pleasure was exhilarating and I clung to it to the very last moment, until it had seeped completely from my body, and I fell over onto my back, completely exhausted.

Elegance is definitely my new favourite lover.

 

Elegance

By FunFactory

The Techy Specky Stuff

Size: 8 1/2 inches long, with 6ish insertable ; almost 2 inches diameter.

Shape: Cylindrical with a lovely angle toward the tapered tip. Slightly arcing, to hit the G spot

Material: Silicone, baby! Oh, with a plastic handle.

Power: Rechargeable, lasts up to an hour or so.

Functions: 4 patterns of vibration. Steady ; Rapid pulse ; Slow, deep pulse ; Slow to fast

Strength: I give it a 4 outta 5, cause the vibes go deeeeeeeeeep.

Noise: Not whisper quiet, but not loud. 2 1/2 outta 5.

Pros

• Girth! Seriously, it’s all about the girth. Mmm, girth
• Beautiful, gorgeous, sexy shape
• Strong, deep vibrations. Even when used direct on my clit, I never became overly sensitive
• Easy control pad … no need for a degree to work this one out
• Easy maintenance and cleaning
• Completely body safe material
• Firm but flexible … it bends to your will

Cons

• Dust collector. Even when stowed away, it attracts dust!
• Charge could last longer … I like it on the high setting, but it runs out too fast!

The final word?

I LOVE Elegance. I take him to bed with me all the time. We make slow, sweet, love, and we fuck hard and fast. He brings glorious, thick length to me without sacrificing on talent and skill. He makes me swoon!

By Zook, she’s got it!

I know, I know, this has taken me forever! It’s been an age since I received this sexy little thing and I am only now getting around to posting a review for you. I could list all sorts of reasons as to why the delay, but I shan’t. The here and now is all that matters, and here and now I’m going to tell you all about the toy that’s buzzing so sweetly deep inside me right this very moment.

The Zook by Zini is one of the sexiest looking toys you will come across on the market right now. He’s absolutely beautiful. His shapely design is inspired by bamboo- yes, bamboo- and as such he is quite enticing to look at. The main vibrator shaft is quite small in comparison to, say, Ina. He is shorter, and slimmer, but he has a sexy little groove toward his flattened tip, much alike those grooves you find on bamboo. The clit tickler arm I simply adore, shaped like bamboo leaves or shoots, flicking delicately outwardly from the main arm. The tickler is wonderfully flexible and soft, and in this particular respect I prefer Zook over Ina. While I love Ina to bits, her clit tickler, while flexible, is very firm and curves out then in, arching over your slit to press quite hard against your clit. I have found I quite enjoy the soft, sensual caress of Zook’s little arm much more. It curves up and out, so that as you thrust the toy it slips lightly over your clit with sweet, gentle touches. Mmmm. Divine!

Zook comes in a few different colour combinations, all of them very lovely, but I had to go with red and black. I’m diversifying my collection, you know. Up until now I have tried to colour coordinate, with most my toys being purple in shade, or blue. How racist of me! No longer shall it continue! I don’t want a row of plain in my toy drawer, I want a fuckin’ rainbow! Ha ha! See what I did there? A fuckin’ rainbow. ‘Cause there’d be many colours, like a rainbow, and I’d fuck myself with them…. Ok. Moving on. The handle/base/controlling part of my Zook is shiny black, and the vibrating arms are a luscious vibrant red that the pictures here really don’t do justice. But there’s more! So much more! The controlling base has an LED light display, which changes colours depending on what function you have the toy in. Do you know what this means? It means when you’re pleasuring yourself in the middle of the night, surrounded by pitch black, and you experiment with vibe patterns, this baby lights up your room like it’s a disco. A fucking disco! (ha ha, get it?)

Unwrapping the pretty packaging

What’s cool is the flashy lights and the LED have a purpose beyond just being pretty. They tell you things! For example, when Zook is switched off, if you press one of his buttons, he will flash either red, orange, or green. What does this tell us? It tells us how much charge he has. Woo! Think of it like a traffic light.
Red for ‘STOP! I need a rest already! God, what are you, some sort of sex fiend?’
Yellow for ‘Oh well, go on, you know you want to. Be quick about it though, we haven’t much time.’ Green for “Go baby go! Oh yeah, that’s the way … harder, deeper, faster! More, more, MORE!’ I’m a big fan of green, myself. But I seem to so often get the red flashy bit. Wonder why?

When charging Zook the LED is once again quite helpful. When completely devoid of charge, plug him in and he will glow red, mournfully signalling his exhaustion after your selfishly orgasmic antics. Just leave him to rest a little while, and soon he will move from red to a more orange colour. Then to a cheerful yellow, signalling his recovery, his energy rising once more. He’ll move along to greens as he perks right up, and when he is fully charged, he’ll glow a very, very happy bright blue.

Mr Zook also has a nifty travel lock. You activate the lock my holding down the –(negative) button, then pressing and holding the +(positive) button. This will make the LED flash bright red, alerting you to the fact that the toy is locked and cannot be used. The lock is deactivated via the same process, and will flash a happy green. When locked, pressing any button will result in a red flash, which for some reason in this context seems to yell, “I’m locked you fucking idiot!” So, please, unlock it first. It will save you an ego bashing.

The first and most basic function of Zook is a steady vibration. When you switch it on by pressing the + (positive) button, the LED will flash bright white once. Even on this lowest setting, the vibes are quite strong, rushing all the way to the tip of the clit tickling arm. To increase intensity, another push on the + arm, another white flash. There are 5 levels of intensity, and the last step is quite a jump from the previous. This steady vibration is of course quite pleasurable, and I have found … and am confirming right at this moment, in fact, that the lightest of touches of the clit tickler over my button is quite enough to send me into a sweet orgasm. It’s not an intense rush, it’s not mind blowing or full body convulsing, but it does feel so very, very good. But I have many more functions to get through, my sweets, and now is not the time for me to orgasm just yet. My mind will turn to mush, and you won’t get a coherent thought from me. Shall we see how many functions I can get through before I need an orgasm break?

Just let me lie back now, settle myself amongst the pillows and get comfy. Laptop by my side … time to practice my one handed typing skills. Lord knows I am already soaked wet, the vibrating tickler that was resting on my clit combined with the endless thoughts of a certain someone has seen to that. In actual fact, I am rather desperately craving a warm body, a nice thick hard cock, and soft lips to kiss. I haven’t any of those, and so Mr Zook will have to step up and give me some of what I need.

Slowly, softly, I stroke the toy up and down my wetted lips, the vibrations rushing through my flesh and making my clit throb. I press more firmly with each pass, until my lips part around the toy and the tip is caressing my entrance teasingly. Although he is slim, I ease him in slowly- his intense vibrations make me sensitive, and the deep groove around his head rakes my flesh almost roughly if I am not careful. I am well acquainted with a persistent thrumming setting, and so I switch to the first pattern. The white light glows brightly then fades, before brightening once again. This pattern is like a long slow pulse … the vibration starts, gets strong quickly, then drops off. Starts, gets strong, drops off. It tickles me to notice that the increase in vibration and LED lightness is in sync. Shifting slightly, I work the toy in and out, finding the right angle to have that clit tickler slide over my button. Ahhh… that’s the place. I can feel my clit throb in response, in greedy demand for more. But not yet, there are more functions. So many more.

Hitting up to the next function … it’s like the previous one hyped on caffeine. That’s good, faster is good, I like faster. The LED glows a pretty aquamarine, and for a moment I imagine I’m at a club, pressed against the wall in a dark corner being fucked as the light show goes on all around us, the beat of the bass thrumming in my body as his cock presses into me again and again and again.

The light blue flashing signals a function change. Like the first function, but on speed instead of caffeine. Short, fast, hard pulses. If not for their perfect rhythm I would aliken the pulse to the erratic, desperate thrusts of him just before he slams deep into me one last time for his orgasm to rock through his body.

I have to admit, I want to cum now. Right now. How many functions is that? 3? Only 3? Oh Gods. Ok, ok. Next function then. Yellow. Gold. That kinda colour. Very pretty, feels good. Like a rollercoaster, up and down, up and down the shaft. That’s 4. Mmmm. Love this one, makes my hips rock up and down harder. Makes my inner muscles clench tighter.

Red. Not the bad low battery red, the good red, the faster rollercoaster red. I can feel it more on my clit, and it tingles and throbs, eager for more touching. I could rub it now, rub it hard and cum. So tempted. That’s 5 … Ten more to go. Want to make it to the end before cumming, then I can go away and focus on more and more and more and more. I always want more, you know. Greedy like that. More. Moving along, quicker. Rushing the descriptions ’cause I’m struggling to keep control. I’d say sorry, but I’m not. The only thing I am right now is horny and that’s quite impossible to ignore.

Another rollercoaster, this time with a pause between. Glows orange. I like orange, looks pretty. Lights up the room. It’s harder to describe the patterns now. Words getting jumbled i my head.

Dark green … quick pulses at lower shaft, feel them on the clit, so delicious. Steady vibe in the main shaft, working my pussy muscles. Can feel my wetness trickling between my legs, hips grinding harder.

Pinkish pink. Low to high thrumming, looooong time, then a pause. Mmm. Again please. yes.

Bright green. Pretty colour, maybe my favourite glow so far. Lightshow in my room. Another low to high patter, with pulses at the end. Like the pulses… intense shots on my clit. Hips jump, feels good. Magenta even prettier. Fast, hard pulses. God yes. Straining to keep control, can feel my body heating up, perspiration breaking out. Writhing on the bed. How many now? Are you keeping count?10, I think.

Light green lights bring fast constant throbbing. Pushing the toy deeper, rocking it against my spot. Makes me shiver, groan.

Dark blue, more throbbing, slower. Nice buzz at end of rhythm, starts again. Fuck. Almost there.

Fuchsia. Fast throbby thing, with a buzz. Sounds same, but not. Feels good. All feels really good. God my clit tingles, my body feels tense. Hurts. But good way.

Pinky purply kinda thing. Same before but faster still. So fast.

Peachy colour. High intense constant throb. More. More. Next

Back to start. Right at start. Yes, yes… fucking myself hader, deeper. Body tidght, hiurts, on the edghfee.

*** Many many hours later ….

Ok, so I realise I make little sense and write poorly when I’m in the middle of sensual activities. Hopefully you will forgive me. Let’s get techy!

Zook by Zini

Material: Plastic (Handle, control panel) & Silicone
Size: 3 1/2 inches insertable, 1 1/4 inch diameter at thickest point. Clit stimulator is almost 2 inches.
Control: 3 Buttons; 1 circular resting between two long tapered buttons.
Power: Rechargeable

Pros:

• Aesthetically beautiful, range of colours
• Clit stimulator is long and flexible (may not be a pro for those needing forceful stimuli)
• Sleek and curved to reach G Spot
• Great variation in functions
• LED display- fuckin’ disco!
• Rechargeable
• Quiet

Cons:

• Vibration in handle can cause numbness
• Can’t adjust vibration strength on different patterns
• Maybe a little too slim for some users
• No motor in clit stim shaft

The final word? I love this little toy. I love being able to play with different patterns and see my room light up in pretty colours. I think it marries aesthetics and function very well … there’s a buzz cycle for everyone!

A Taste of Him

There’s been a lot going on in my life. So you can understand that I’ve been craving certain things which I have not had time for. How much I long for a taste of him, to bring him pleasure, to hear him call my name when his control slips …

The sound of a key being inserted into the lock of the door jolted her from her reverie, her head lifting from where it rested on her elbow as she curled on the couch. As the key turned she rose from the couch, smoothed the material of her babydoll down and shook out her hair. The handle twisted, the door opening, and she met him on the threshold. He held her back when she would move forward, his dark eyes taking in her form. He liked when she dressed for him, and the new baby doll looked good on her curves, the cups pushing her breasts high and the skirt barely covering her centre. He saw a hint of lace beneath the fluttering hem, and smiled. He liked lace.

The forgotten interview

Hello my lovelies!

Now, please rest assured that very soon I will have a juicey new review for you of one of my brand new toys. I just need to *ahem* do some more testing and research. I’m sooooo dedicated to bringing you as much detail … I mean, fact … as possible. But for now, something a little different!

As some of you would know, very recently the amazing JV wound up his time as the official JE (formerly known as JK)  blogger. Now, I may be a tad bias, but that doesn’t change the fact that JV is a great writer, and I love to read his work. Especially his erotica (which I am ever hopeful he will add to), but even the stuff that involves spacey type themes that I would normally turn my nose up at.The man has a way with words that completely enthrall me.

And so I beat him to death with a phallus

Just how did I reach the point where I beat the President of the Universe to death with a fuchsia phallus? Well …

On December 27, I was browsing a fabulous online sex toy store for something new. By some miracle I had survived the Christmas period with quite a bit of money left over, and I was going to reward myself with orgasms. Well, eventually there would be orgasms, but immediately there was shopping! Shopping for items to bring me orgasms. Anyhoo, later that evening, I had fallen completely in love with one particular toy, and almost as in love with a second toy. It was a complete love fest. I barely managed to hold off on ordering them until I had a chance to show JV and discover his thoughts. The next day, I had his thoughts, and the order was made. I neglect to tell you what they are right now because at some point, reviews will be forthcoming. The day after I placed the order, Ireceived confirmation that my order had not only been processed, but shipped.

Cue obsessive online tracking of my parcel.

Bootiful analysis

I am so very thrilled that you stay tuned. As promised, I have done extensive research on my new acquisition, and have prepared for you, a review. Confused? Recently, I posted about a new toy gifted me by the incredible JV, a lovely little anal plug. I wrote about the first time I used it, and I talked about the relationship I have with anal stimulation. If you didn’t read that little piece, mosey along and do it now! Go on, mosey!

Well, now that you have either remained tuned or moseyed along to see what on earth I am ranting about, let us begin!

In my perusing of sex toys over the years, I have found most anal plugs to be … well, gauche. Tacky. Unattractive. Ugly. Cheap. Inelegant. (Side note: how many sex toy reviews have you read that use words like gauche? I like to set myself apart.) Anyone who has read my blog before will know that aesthetics are important to me in toys. I want something that will look good in my drawer and in my hand, as well as do what I want it to. You will know that I am quite picky. So you know when I say this, I really mean it: The cute little Bootie anal plug by Fun Factory is not only the best I have ever used, it is by far the most aesthetically pleasing. Hands down.

When my dear friend and fellow blogger Woman first showed me the Bootie after raving about it, I fell in love. So cute! I gasped in a girl way that is usually most unlike me. I fell in lust with it almost immediately. Here was an anal plug that was not only stylish and fun, but well made, well shaped, and had a design that someone clearly thought about quite a lot. A plug that makes me want to touch it, play with it, and not cringe at how tacky it seems. It’s sleek and elegant, and looks right at home amongst my other ‘deluxe’ toys; the beautifully crafted glass dildos, Ina in all her sexy glory, my remote egg vibe, my rocking g spot vibe. They belong together, and I wish my entire collection was so classy. And then my sweet JV gave it to me for an early Christmas. Last week I finally got around to using it, and since then I have played with it and worn it almost every day, for durations ranging 2 hours to about 4. I have, as I said earlier, researched and tested extensively, and now I shall share my findings with you.

Shake your bootie

“We had plans.” I tilted my head slightly and looked up to where the webcam perched atop my bed head, gazing at the lens through the strands of hair that had fallen partially over my face as though I could see right into his eyes. I was nervous, to say the least. Wanting to go through with it but a little wary, knowing the troubles I have had in the past, and especially of late.
We did. And we still do, there’s plenty of time.
His words appeared on the screen after a moment, and despite the fact his camera was being a fuckwit and not working, I knew he was smiling. I knew he was looking forward to this, had been ever since I suggested it in a moment of nutsery.

He gave me a present, you see. Well, he has given me several, actually, but this was one that a while ago I had expressed quite a desire in wanting. Now that I had it though, it made me nervous. It has been residing in my drawer, waiting in sex toy limbo for me to call upon it. I figured it was about time. Time to work through the issues I had been having lately with anal stimulation. It’s always been a double edged sword for me; a stimulation I love, but one that always proves overwhelming to the point I cannot handle it. I had been training myself, slowly, to get used to it and be able to enjoy it more, and I was making progress. Except at some point, I hit a speed bump, and slipped into reverse gear, dropping backwards. A mental block flew up until i could hardly take anything at all, and I stopped trying altogether. Until now.